He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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