Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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