Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
