I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I love you. Go after that dick
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
