Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
