went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
