I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
