Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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