I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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