love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
