I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize