He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
