He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
