the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
