Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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