His pubic hair was longer than his dick
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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