god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
