It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
