Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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