I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
