Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I think I died a long time ago.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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