So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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