Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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