Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
