Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
