So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
