he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize