my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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