dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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