discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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