you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
