Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
