I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
