One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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