singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
