Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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