I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
