What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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