he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
