On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
