I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
