I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
