this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
