You smell like stripper and shame
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
