hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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