ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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