the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize