it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
