Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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