You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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