$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
