Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
