I want you more than these girls want KFC
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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