Plan B is the new Plan A
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize