What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
