I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
be right there i have to get my cape
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize