i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
