did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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