My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
no, he came in my armpit
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
