i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
