Your face is a jimmy john
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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