I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize