I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
