Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
