yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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