"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
