I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
