he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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