There is no way he is gay with that hair.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
