I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize
