So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
