At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize