that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
