Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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