Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize