Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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