Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
