shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
