It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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