my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
